!: Archive

“You wanna know something that’s taken me almost 40 years to learn? Because...”

– Mom

May 3rd

“Yeah and birth control too because…teenagers have sex”

– the smartest thing any of the morons on 16 and pregnant have ever said

Apr 26th

Dec 29th

My head is spinning not from love but from the alternation I must be learning, what a way to waste an education Time moves so slowly when you’re idling in reverse I think I’ll find a way to quantify this curse A spurious variable to negate the words you say A bitter sip, a Freudian slip, I can’t come out to play Devoted to the words that might preserve my sad creation An allusion to some...

Dec 29th

“The more money we spend here, the more money we have to spend at walmart”

– Gainesville Goodwill. Wut?

Dec 28th

Dec 22nd

Whenever anyone asks me how old I am, I always say 20. I don’t really know why, it’s not that I want to seem older than I am, because if that were the case I would certainly say I was 21. It’s only been since this past birthday that I’ve done that, when I was 18 I always just said I was 18. 19 has been a kind of shitty year, well at least the first 8 months, who knows...

Dec 19th

Dec 18th

Kara

Kara: I think it's going to take another (name) to get me over him completely
Me: Sometimes I forget (name) was ever in the picture
Kara: That's because he wasn't really a person, he just served a purpose.

Dec 18th

I feel like every time I find myself “liking” someone, it’s because they “liked” me first, or expressed some kind of interest. Sometimes my attraction to someone is based almost entirely on the fact that HE is attracted to ME. Rarely do I meet a guy, think “oh, he’s cute”, then pursue him until we hook up. I guess I feel like it’s the other...

Dec 16th

Dec 15th

143 notes

You don't need a weatherman to know which way the... →

Dec 14th

“If I told people they could win a major [golf] championship by spending an hour...”

– Dr. Bob Rotella, Your 15th Club

Dec 13th

Sometimes people just irritate me to no end. And by some people, I mean other women. What inspired this mini-rant, you ask? Well, this girl I know and don’t like at all decided to fill out one of those social interviews that everyone is doing on Facebook. The only reason I’m even “friends” with her is because I used to hook up with her boyfriend (yeah, while they were...

Dec 11th

Dec 10th

I wonder when I’m 40 and I’m married and have a job I hate and kids I hate will I still think it’s fun to sit on the floor with you and eat Steak n Shake. I hope so.

Dec 10th

Dec 8th

Dec 7th

CONFESSION I like the Dave Matthews Band, a lot....

Dec 7th

Jun 15th

Jun 9th